oldestcharm: (marceline b62d1d)
2017-06-01 08:47 am
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I found this poem I wrote in 2014 and I'm starting to think I've not progressed much further than that. I get miserable when I don't create anything new, so this is quite bitter and yet something I'm proud of.

And yes, I can see the irony in posting this in 2017. I embrace it.

So you cobbled together a few words
What an achievement that is
There’s nothing you can bring to the table
Not even your supposed originality
Describe yourself as an "old soul"
Fancy that –
Just like everyone else in the room
And in light of your tales about the brand new world
They will all move on
You’re still leeching off of your own works
Moments of genius you’ve had in the past
You’re static to the core
“Right, you fucker, what else have you got in store?”
Oh, don’t ask.
oldestcharm: (withnail b62d1d)
2017-05-31 02:49 pm
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Night Sails or Bust?

For the sake of my own sanity, I've postponed my last Camp story; a story I've been working on for years. I cannot see it clearly at this point and all I can do is take a long break and hope for the best.

I have a new project (working title: Night Sails) I'd like to focus on in July, though I've yet to decide whether I want to actually write it or if I'll just work on the concept and outlining. Maybe I should write a fanfic instead? I don't know. It has been difficult to get motivated recently and despite my initial excitement with Night Sails, I'm already finding faults with my own imagination.But if I'm honest, I'm probably just having a tough day as I had to deal with a bunch of condescending bureaucrats and this sort of thing tends to suck out any joy I would have had otherwise.

So, is anyone else taking part in July's Camp Nano? What are you writing?
oldestcharm: (margarita eeeeee)
2017-04-13 09:32 pm
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I woke up today in a very strange mood. I've been tracking it for a while to make sure I don't just go and flip out on someone for no reason, but I was sort of assuming I was still tumbling down the endless fucking road of misery. Turns out that's all bollocks. Instead I find myself still anxious, but increasingly irritable and... I know very well where this is going, I just don't think I have the willpower to intervene.

I doubt there's anyone really reading this anyhow, so I won't bother to mess with the privacy settings. Maybe later. I just... I'm all over the place, really. I went to a concert at a local church today and spent most of the time trying to calm myself the fuck down. I think I ended up looking like a massive tool. I know I am, probably.

So... plans for the rest of the month? I'll do my best to write as much as possible... as much good shit that's possible. Monday, I'll see if I can get some fancy documents sorted out and then just -- god, I don't even know. This is getting fucking ridiculous. Honestly, stop it, Ella.
oldestcharm: (harry eeeeee)
2017-04-07 07:18 pm
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Bother! For some strange reason I still cannot fully comprehend, I decided to take part in Camp NaNoWriMo this April. I only know what day it is, because I have a word count to work towards!

I'd planned to work on some of my original work, but then mental illness happened and I lost both inspiration and a couple days from my schedule, so I decided to work on a H/D fanfic instead. It's not even one of the great ideas I had planned! Oh no, it wouldn't do me any good if I just followed the goddamn plan for once in my life. Nope. Not at all. I'm here to dive head first against a brick wall for the entertainment of everyone, including my own!

On the bright side, I'm finding myself enjoying it quite a bit. I managed to write 2,124 words today and I might keep going provided I'm not too sleepy to get my brain to play along. I've never really worked like this. I'm always very precise about the quality of my writing and I am also, unfortunately, a compulsive editor. I think this will be an interesting challenge for me. Write utter rubbish and try to craft gold later.

Seeing how smoothly certain things in life flow, I wish others followed. All I want is some sort of stability to keep me grounded; someone I could talk to without feeling judged for my persistent cock ups; some time perhaps, just to float and figure things out. In a way, I suppose I've been granted the latter, but I feel guilty and really, that's no basis for proper living. That's alright, though. Tomorrow might be better. After all, Saturdays are always nice and dreamy. In the meantime, I'll bury myself in my wizard cape.
oldestcharm: (withnail b62d1d)
2017-04-05 07:21 pm
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Wizard Romance

Today I've been thinking a lot about writing, quite possibly, because I'm not actually doing it. It seems I've made it right back to the beginning and since it's both terrible and amusing to me, I thought I'd share it here.

When I first started writing any stories, I went for originals. I was probably around nine or ten, but I kept my practice going until I had a whole notebook full of stories. While there were a couple of interesting points, the characters were rather embarrassingly bad as well as the setting itself. I used to be quite into supernatural, but what I loved best was wizards. Wizards! Goddamn wizards again.

Oh well, at least it wasn't vamps. I could have easily fallen into that particular trap.

My wizard characters were always rather gloomy and threatening, though they wore ridiculous attire such as large wizard hats lined with glitter, fabulous capes with tiny silver moons on them and most importantly, the staffs. Now the staffs were always the best as a staff would surely reflect its owner's personality and soul. There were lots of those, including a yellow holey one -- that particular wizard was very fond of cheese platters and refused to wear anything but yellow.

Names of those wizards were mostly nonsense. Not exactly key-smashing as back then I still knew how to hold a pen, but I would constantly just mash some characters together and voila! I've got a fancy and ominous name on my hands even if it does end up something like Undelval the Useless. That poor sod was rather useless in duels and things in general, which was really sort of unfortunate for him as most of my stories involved epic duels and torrid romances. And of course, nothing is ever complete without a proper sort of backstabbing.

The romances though? That was some heavy stuff for a ten year old... and probably better smut than I've written nowadays.

So! I'm not really expecting anyone to engage in my rambles, but if you have something to say either about wizards or your own first writings, that would be awesome!

P.S. I really wish I had a wizard hat and a cape. They're so goddamn cool.
oldestcharm: (the game joe)
2017-04-04 09:24 pm
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New Beginnings!

I guess I am going to get back into fandom, little ramblings and fic writing, most of all. Now, I was going to hop on livejournal as I used to have an account there and I know how to use it, but... well, they really screwed themselves over, didn't they? All I see is people buggering off here and since I'd been recommended the site by some lovely fella, I figured I might as well. This feels less like a wasteland, even though I'll have to start all over again. It'll be a challenge then. Something nice to focus on for once.

I miss writing fanfic. I wrote some last year, mostly for Sterek. I have a Glorfindel fic sitting about and I've never finished my Classic Who or Swan Queen fics. It's a shame, really. I've always depended on creativity to keep me happy and at this moment I'm so down that writing is actually becoming difficult. I intended to take part in Camp NaNoWriMo for some original writing, but that's obviously not happening. I lost all interest in my story just a few days before April. But I might be interested in some shorter ficcy things. I signed up to a fic exchange on tumblr that's going on this summer, but as I'm feeling especially nostalgic, I sorta want to get back to writing Drarry. Back in the day I wrote some shitty stuff under another pseudonym, but I've definitely improved as a writer and I've got a couple of ideas I'm hoping to work on. As soon as the meds kick in.

Either way, I'll be here, trying to figure out what parts of this site are different from livejournal and hopefully, make some new friends. This seems like a nice place. <3
oldestcharm: (sterek b62d1d)
2016-12-25 04:49 am

Emergency Tree

Title: Emergency Tree
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: ~ 2,000
Pairing: Sterek
Warnings: Overwhelming fluff!
Summary: It's not an ideal Christmas by a long shot, but somehow it still a nice one.
AN: Originally written as part of the Eternalsterek Secret Santa 2016. Also available on AO3.

Emergency Tree )
oldestcharm: (sterek eeeeee)
2016-12-15 06:36 pm

Frost on the Road

Title: Frost on the Road
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: ~ 1,500
Pairing: Sterek
Warnings: Mentions of supernatural corpses.
Summary: It's not an ideal Christmas by a long shot, but somehow it still a nice one.
AN: Originally written as part of the Eternalsterek Secret Santa 2016. Also available on AO3.

Frost on the Road )
oldestcharm: (sterek b62d1d)
2016-08-14 10:00 pm
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Title: Nightcall
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: ~ 3,000
Pairing: Sterek
Warnings: mentions of ketchup
Summary: Getting as far away from Beacon Hills as humanly possible is much easier when you have supernatural friends... acquaintances... err, something.
AN: Originally written as part of the Sterek Summer Spectacle 2016. Also available on AO3.
Nightcall )
oldestcharm: (sterek chess b62d1d)
2016-08-08 03:00 pm
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Title: Curses
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: ~ 5,000
Pairing: Sterek
Warnings: Actual biting.
Summary: Misery loves company. It's not as though it is news to anyone, least of all to Stiles.
AN: Originally written as part of the Sterek Summer Spectacle 2016. Also available on AO3.

Curses )
oldestcharm: (sterek eeeeee)
2016-07-15 10:31 pm

Take A Gamble

Title: Take A Gamble
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: ~ 2,500
Pairing: Sterek
Warnings: new!pack
Summary: It is, according to the Beacon Hills Report, the hottest day of the year so far and Derek finds himself almost missing the hotel in South America where he and Cora had spent three weeks simply lounging by the pool. There is no pool in Beacon Hills. There is only drought and endless sunshine that had almost started a wildfire.
AN: Also available on AO3.
Take A Gamble )